One Machine. One must shine. One is shining. There is a steady and firm line drawn between most realities. I’ve finally arrived at a place much more light and far away from what was dark and belonged to madness. I’m finally ready to get these songs out of me…out of my head…away from the strings of my instruments…apart from the space they have grown in…they have grown in me like trees. The ‘D’ Album is special, and I think a little tossed to the fire. It is a chronicle of the nightmares of Divorce – not all of course, but many. I simply cannot escape the songwriting, so whatever toxins existed during the unintentional writing of this album, they were left in. It is cruel and cold, it exposes manipulations and controls, it is honest and shows full face. I am not going to complete this album for fans…it’s not for them. It’s for anyone that needs the words to say, “Everything is going to be ok”.
When we forget to notice that which binds us all together, we turn hard against a frail thing. When a heart hurts it takes. When a heart loves it gives. This giving and taking should come from the same place. “She asks him if he’s real. He blinks twice, and says ‘oh, how do I feel.’ Most people think that when you’re super you’re better. But, I’m no better than you.” Having an incredible memory has an almost tragically beautiful balance. Our memories don’t just give us images. They give us smells, and sounds, and feelings. They are almost as real as when it was in real time. Whatever the crap that means. Sometimes our memories serve us well; other times, it is burdensome and crippling. Wise then at the least to make good passage in our lives. My ripples and yours. Good journey.
Wow. Consider the mechanisms used for simple things in our day to day, and then begin to really consider them. That’s all.
I got on the phone the other day and booked a couple of shows. It is the first time I’ve been on the phone or email for months. Things like this were a common daily practice for me, and for a long time, but they have since fallen away. So, check out the schedule and maybe I’ll see some of your pretty faces at a show.
This is exactly how I saw it all going…not. The toll on my mind is only just inside of balance, but delicately on the edge. My feet are planted and my arms are flailing wildly in the air. Sometimes I think I might not come back, but then the temporary calm sets in and everything belongs to being just alright again. I wish I could cut the strings that bind and pull on this puppet heart of mine. I have learned the value of what to express and what not, but I dislike the encumbrance of withholding. We all have these ways that we heal, all these ways that we will – we can be better after all. If we learn what we can take, learn what we can leave – we can be better after all. Oh how we pay, but it buys forgiveness from no one. Oh how I’ve paid, but it buys forgiveness from no one. Oh how I pay still, I will buy forgiveness from no one. Nothing is the only thing I own fully, clearly, and outright. Nothing is all I ask for. I said I would trade it all, but that’s not what I meant. You can take it all for free I’ve already forgiven all your debts. I know maybe you will never forgive mine – you can keep my name in red and I’ll keep towing lines.
The revolutions of life are difficult to exist in. The larger the circle we ride, the faster we come down. The acceleration of it is enough to level your mind at your feet. This, we call the bottom. If we can remember that it is a circle – just remain conscious of it – then we can hold the buckle and slingshot into the up swing. There are a many good and great things about the world we live in. Let’s not be defined by the standards other have created for it. Be well enough then and on your way. It took us all this long to get here – each the same amount of time. And, since we made it this far, we might as well just keep going.
I might not be very fast, but I sure am slow. Quite confident at that even. So I released the guitars to the general public. That was interesting. My feelings are in a conflicting orientation. It’s difficult to be in such a state of happy sadness or sad happiness.
Meet the new Elephant Tour Guitar, one of the 7 guitars (and 1 Ukulele) I’ve been building for the opening of the KnottyWoodGuitar Co. that officially happens on Friday, June 13th. I also come out of my two month performance hiatus. There will be a great show at the Yellowstone Cellars with a special acoustic performance from Omnithex, free food, and the first public viewing of these guitars on this night starting around 7ish.
The work involved, even just getting started, was tremendous and at times overwhelming. There are a few people that stand pretty tall against the pale – a great deal of thanks and appreciation for them – of them – because of them. Thanks for letting me be a crazy, and thank you greatly for all your efforts.
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